The Droll Docent

Humans of Droll Docent

I am a huge fan of Brandon Stanton, the creator of Humans of New York.  Brandon goes around NYC talking to people, takes some photos of them, and then shares snippets of their stories. It is a wonderful combination of two of my favorite things: art and voyeurism. If you aren’t one of the 14 million people already following him on Facebook, check out the blog here: Humans of New York. (On a side note, if you aren’t one of my 73 followers on Facebook, you can find me here: https://www.facebook.com/TheDrollDocent)

Because imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I decided to do an edition of “Humans Of Droll Docent.”  The dialogue of the people in these portraits is completely fictional, but I have included links so you can learn more about the pieces.

“I spent years agonizing over it, trying to make it work and wondering if I should cut it completely. Then one day I looked at her and said: just make my hair look like it is constantly windblown.”
790px-Rembrandt_van_Rijn_-_Self-Portrait_-_Google_Art_Project
“I have portraits of myself at every age. I like to think I invented the selfie.”
1967.59.674_1b
“She picked out my outfit today.” “Everything except for the spats. Don’t blame me for those.” “I am telling you- they are making a comeback.”
4933631307_3a1983e613
“I used to like going to bars until they started focusing on all these complex, hand-crafted drinks. I now order bottles of wine so I don’t have to wait. The question needs to be asked: does every drink need to be muddled?”
Baccio_bandinelli_selfport
“There used to be a time when I could easily sell a painting of two naked men wrestling. New York has changed, man, and I really can’t draw anything else.”
cephas-thompson-girl-with-dove-1810-30-x-24-approximate-original-size-in-inches
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” “Someone without bird poop in my hand.”
christ
“I think my dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps. He was a carpenter.” “Did he make what you are carrying?” “No, he didn’t. I got this I got from Rome.”
f712aa1903a3ac6cf00b9aa33e71c1dd
“We have been friends forever. We meet every week to talk about relationships and stuff. There used to be a redhead but she got tired of us.”
GeneralTomThumbWeddingHarpers
“She said she wanted a ‘little’ wedding.”
old man van rijn
“I just saw it one day, stuck it in there, and called it macaroni.”
Guercino_-_Personification_of_Astrology_-_circa_1650-1655
“No one at the costume party got that I am the personification of astrology. I knew I should have gone as Cersei.”
pensive athena
“My dad used to call me ‘his little headache.’ I think that is why I am always fighting with everyone.”
portrait-of-jeanne-duval-1862
“I kind of just happened to fall here and I need someone’s help to get up. Wait! Where are you going?”
unknown-artist-baby-in-red-chair
“She is either sleeping or pooping. Either way, we are leaving her alone.”
hiero
oilfield“We shop together, we eat together, we set fires together, we-” “Shhhh.” “So, um, yeah. Now we are traveling together. We are waiting for the first bus out of town..”
girl with wine
“I actually stole this from a lady who was busy yelling at a bartender about muddling something.”

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